Here's what I am proposing with this blog: dare me to do something. Challenge me. Throw down the proverbial gauntlet. If it's not illegal, amoral, cost-prohibitive or life-threatening, I will probably attempt to do it. I will write about my endeavors, upload pictures and promise to cop to any failure as much as I do any success.
Why am I doing this, exactly? Because of two basic components of my personality, the first being that I have been told (by ex-boyfriends, mostly) that I have an oppositional/defiant personality. I prefer to do things I have been told I couldn't do to things I think of myself. It's a dumb way to live, I realize that, but it seems to be hard-wired into my system and no amount of purchases from the Barnes and Noble self-help section is going to help me get over it. So, I am resolutely living in the world of "Oh YEAH? Just WATCH me!" The second part of my personality that spurred me to think of this project seems to be in direct opposition with the oppositional/defiant side of me...I take direction really well. In fact, in certain cases, I NEED direction in order to get anything done. I write well, but rarely complete anything that I'm not being required to write. I have three or four half-finished baby sweaters that I abandoned because the babies for which they were intended all outgrew them before I even finished. I take pretty good pictures, but beyond having the film developed or the digital print made, I have yet to do anything about those pretty good pictures. I need goals, but I prefer it when other people set them for me. I like challenges, but I'm lousy at choosing appropriate challenges for myself.
A little about me... I just finished grad school and a summer job. For three years, I had direction and purpose and a job to do. Now that it's done, I find myself unmoored and a little afraid. I have spent far too many days idly waiting for something to happen. I've spent far too much of my dwindling cash on accessories to MAKE something happen (watercolors? REALLY?). I joined the YMCA to have something to do during the day, but have found that I can only tolerate working out for about two hours and there's so much DAY left over after that. I don't currently have a job, though as soon as my husband and I move into our new place in our new city, I will likely step back into my casual career separates and begin temping again, but I have found that -- shockingly enough -- temping is just not enough. What I'm afraid of is that, after three years of pursuing higher education, I will never again be asked to work as hard as I did in grad school. I feel a little bit like a border collie with no flock to herd.
So, here's where you come in... Give me ideas for stuff to do. It can be something like "Finish one of those damn baby sweaters you have" or something less practical and more daring like "hike the Appalachian Trail." I promise to accept challenges, regardless of whether or not they sound "fun" to me, but I do reserve the right of refusal. Also, as I'm sure I will receive many creative suggestions, I may not be able to accept all challenges, so don't be offended if I don't pick yours. I realize it's not anyone's responsibility to make my life interesting, but I would hope that reading about someone doing something odd or challenging that you suggested might at least be fun. Hell, I get all wide-eyed and excited when I hear about my friends doing cool shit.
So, I throw down the gauntlet to you so that you may throw it down to me. Remember, I won't do anything illegal, amoral, cost-prohibitive (unless you're willing to foot the bill...I'm broke), life-threatening or involving wheat (allergic). Thanks for taking the time to read this and I look forward to your challenges!
First let me applaud your effort at finding something to do and throw in my complete understanding, being in the exact same boat myself. I know firsthand how hard it is to complete something that is not quote unquote required so I happily throw the first gauntlet content in the knowledge that you are not rubber nor am I glue ;)
ReplyDeleteChallenge: Learn Photoshop and do something with your photography.
I'm not saying you should instantly become a Photoshop guru and create dazzling photorealistic mindfucks. But it's a terribly easy program to learn the basics of and you can have fun with your artistic photos. I'd suggest downloading PS for a 30-day trial and running through some of the many online tutorials. Perhaps to give yourself a more tangible goal you could visit www.worth1000.com and pick one of their challenges to play with? Aim to create a picture for one of their beginner challenges by the end of your 30-day trial.
What say you?
Love the concept. I never thought of you as oppositional/defiant. Then again, I'm not an ex-boyfriend. My first thought was to dare you to come visit me again, but that seemed selfish. I dare you to register as a substitute teacher when you get to your new city. Talk about a challenge! And it is temping, in a way.
ReplyDeleteOh, and "first."
Well, I took too long, so "second" would be more appropriate.
ReplyDeleteWrite the letters of the alphabet on separate pieces of paper, and put them in a hat (do the same with numbers 1-9).Go to the foreign films section of your video place (or log into netfix, whatever). Draw a letter out of the hat and go to that section of foreign films. Pick two numbers, and count through until you reach the appropriate film. Now go home and watch it.
ReplyDeleteWrite. A memoir. A one-person show. Whatever. Start weaving together your fabu stories. I'll be happy to volunteer as first reader. Oh, but of course you won't do that, Ms. Oppositional, will you? I betya won't!
ReplyDelete